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How to know if I am compatible with my partner: 5 tips
Several logics are almost always acting in the world of relationships. On the one hand, there is one that has to do with personal attraction and that gives us short-term incentives to stay next to a person. This is in itself something that can sometimes be confusing, because it is not easy to analyze one's emotions.
On the other, there is the logic of material possibilities, which is everything that must be done to allow continued coexistence: earn a salary, have time for the couple ...
All this makes many people wonder ... how do I know if I am compatible with my partner? Small problems and day-to-day conflicts may be just that, but it is also possible that they are symptoms of an incompatibility that is more difficult to remedy.
Related article: "The 7 keys to a healthy relationship"
Keys to know if you are compatible with your partner
It is clear that each couple's relationship is a world, and there is no universal measuring rod that allows us to know the "quality" of a love bond.
However, it is generally useful to look at a series of criteria or facets of a relationship to, seeing the seriousness of its problems, determine if there are incompatibilities. Let's see
1. Is there mutual respect in a sustained way?
This is the first criterion in which we must look to know if we are compatible with our partner. Respect is the basis of any non-antagonistic relationship, and of course, in the specific case of love it is paramount.
Thus, it is not only enough that there are no direct physical or verbal aggressions. The usual way of relating to the other must be consistent with the value of respect, and sustained over time. The latter is very important, because even in relationships where there is abuse, there can be a cycle of violence in which regret is shown in a timely manner, shortly afterwards, to attack again.
2. Is there time to be together?
Each person has their own needs when establishing the minimum amount of time they want to spend with their partner, either daily or weekly. Therefore, it is essential to stop to analyze whether these seemingly different interests fit together, and if the conditions exist for these expectations to be fulfilled.
For example, in distance relationships this can be a problem, but if a realistic plan is drawn up by which both people can spend quality time together, or one in which at a point the relationship ceases to be distance , in that case you don't have to talk about incompatibility.
In any case, it is important to note that not all expressions of loving compatibility have to be purely psychological or emotional; others are material, such as the serious problems caused by the endless working hours.
Related article: "Distance relations: 10 difficult problems to bear"
3. Is everything based on physical attraction?
In youth, it is common to confuse love compatibility with mutual attraction based on the physical, the aesthetic. This is a pattern of behavior that causes problems in the medium and long term.
That is precisely why it is good to consider whether what keeps us together with our partner is the inertia of what began only with physical attraction. Although technically it is not an incompatibility, it is a source of future and probable serious incompatibilities. Given that most people consider relationships as a stable and long-lasting relationship, it is worth thinking about it.
4. Is there asymmetry in communication?
There are times when one of the people who form the relationship adopts a markedly passive role when there are discussions or conflicts of interest. That is, to show that everything is more or less good, although in practice it is not quite concealed. In these cases it may happen that the other person is interested in making explicit the reason for the problem, or that it is assumed that in those cases the right thing is to do nothing, so that the conflict does not surface.
When both people have become accustomed to this because they do not know how to deal with problems directly, that may constitute an incompatibility. In the long run, the will of one of the parties is always imposed.
5. Are there realistic expectations about compatibility?
Paradoxically, obsessing with whether one is compatible with his or her partner or not can be incompatible if that leads to requiring the other person to conform almost perfectly to what is expected of her. It is important to assume that there are always small frictions between the interests of people who have been involved in the relationship. You cannot idealize the concept of lovers that complement each other perfectly.
In conclusion
Complying with the requirements we have seen does not guarantee that a relationship works, but it gives a fairly realistic sample of the possibilities it has of thriving. Taking them into account regularly to see if everything is going well is good, although you have to aspire to make the love bond something more than a set of desirable objective characteristics.
Love and falling in love must be lived, not simply analyzed.
Article that may interest you: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love exist?"

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